Something to fix
by thewayilovedyoursong
Summary: After Meredith doesn't go to DC, Derek comes home, finding the place he built empty, but it was not as if they had left for a few hours. It was like they had never been there. [re-posted because FanFiction has something against me] changed the title.
1. Chapter 1

After Meredith doesn't go to DC, Derek comes home, finding the place he built empty, but it was not as if they left for a few hours. It was like they had never been there.

 **Disclaimer : I don't own Greys, but if I owned it, Derek wouldn't be Dead, in fact, Patrick... I mean Derek, would walk naked around the Seattle Grace.**

 **Chapter one** _Where is my song?_

The airport was busy.

She had never been a fan of planes, in fact, after the plane crash, she decided not to fly unless it was pretty necessary. A lot of things were constantly happening in her life, and she didn't want to take any risks. It was a non stop. She didn't have to ask for drama because it came in its own way. Even, she could define herself like one of those people who attracted the disasters, or that they just have a lot of bad luck. She used to be happy, just for a while, she had been happy; Happy with things she never thought she could had. But Derek changed everything; It was different. And she was happy.

And when she says was, it's because she doesn't know how to feel anymore, she doesn't know who she is anymore. It was funny, because she had always been an independent woman. Even, when she always thought she was not a _Grey_ because that name didn't belong to her, she had been strong. She knew she was Meredith. She was lost, but she found herself the day she met Derek. It was a good sensation. And suddenly, it became stronger. Stronger and painful. Because she didn't knew love. But someone told her that it was not love if it was not painful.

Loving him, was the worst and the best feeling in the world.

But now, she just didn't know how she felt.

She needed to find herself again, but this time, she knew that Derek couldn't do anything because he was the one who lost her. She just wanted to be Meredith. Not a wife or a surgeon. Just herself. And Derek took all that when he left. She didn't sleep, she barely ate. She didn't have time. And the last time she talked to her husband was three weeks ago. She knew she said they could do this, but now, she was not that sure.

And she was not that sure about if she wanted to see him right now.

So she asked herself.

And the answer was Meredith leaving the airport. But not in a plane.

 **This is short I know, but its just the introduction, the following chapters, will be longer, about 4k words ! But please please leave a review telling me what you think!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey! So, sorry for The late update, I've been on vacation and i had The chapters on my laptop, but now i am home and i will be posting more often. Your reviews are awesome! Thank you so much! And yes, this will be a merder story, it will have a bit of drama, but it will be happy merder soon promise! There won't be cheating or something like that! I hated that Derek mind of 'cheated' on Meredith. Well it was a kiss but you know what I mean**

 **Enjoy and please review! :)**

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"Yeah, Maggie, I know. " She said. "I am sorry, but... I need this. " She listened to her sister's long sigh. She didn't like the idea of leaving her kids with her, it was not like if she had something against her, but she didn't know if what she was doing was the best decision. It would be just one weekend right?

But what she hated the most was that everyone thought that she was making her way to the airport to visit Derek; well, she was going to the airport, but her destine was not DC though. She just needed to escape. To forget about everything for a few days because it was killing her. She was not one of those wives that cried over their husbands. At this time, she felt like a single mother, with two kids that needed full of attention. She was not trying to replace them for the job, because this in this vacation has nothing to do with cutting people. She just needed to be Meredith, to be herself. To forget about Derek.

She thought just for a moment what would be like if she went to DC, but she was not ready. To face her husband. The man who has been absent with his kids and with her. God, she couldn't even remember the last time they had sex. What if he didn't love her anymore? What if he had found someone else there and that was why he was so willing to go?, what if she got there and she didn't know what to say? She didn't want to see her marriage falling apart.

Okay that she was the one who told him to go, but only because she loves him so much she couldn't see him that miserable. She felt like if DC was everything for him, the way he looked, the way he was always using DC as an _excuse_ to start a fight. She knew it was her fault too, no one was innocent in this, but she also knew that she had to stay true at what she really felt. She needed to follow her heart, and even if the love of her life was in DC, she wasn't.

After finishing the talk with Maggie, Meredith got on a plane. The plane was leaving to _Boston_.

It was ironic, because she hated that city. Well, maybe she didn't at all, but all her dark and twisty issues started there. She has no good memories, but apart of that, something told her that she needed to go there.

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Derek had been calling his _wife for_ the last two hours.

He didn't know if he could call her that, because after all, the last months he hadn't been a husband. And not even a father. He excuses himself with the job, and the timezone, because there are a few hours of difference that are always against them. Of course it's not always his fault, she was the one that told him to go, that said that they could make it, and she worked too; But he couldn't say anything because after all she was the one taking care of the kids. Doing the role he was supposed play. He felt guilty? Yes. But how he could take everything back?, how could everything go back to normal?, it was more comfortable leaving the things as they were, knowing that she was coming to visit and probably they were going to make it up and all that.

But she was not coming.

He knew that her plane should have landed like one hour ago, but still, she hadn't called. And all he could think about was the plane crash.

After they got into the plane, he thought that a plane crash was something that was not going to happen to him, his luck wasn't that bad after all though and it was almost impossible knowing that today there are barely those kind of accidents, but after the bombs, the drownings, the shootings, the ambulances crashing and people dying, he learned that everything is possible, and that they must have such a bad karma.

So that's why his thoughts were driving him crazy. Maybe it was just delayed and she couldn't call.

Now that he thinks, when he thinks about loosing her, all their fights disappear, because Meredith is more important than everything, but he is still a coward and too arrogant to recognize that he was wrong.

He grabbed his phone again, dialing her number. But the call was directed to the voicemail.

"Meredith?" He started, finally deciding that the best he could do was leave a message. "I... I just wanted to make sure you are okay, you know, you didn't come..." after a long silence, he heard the sound that said that the time was out. He sighed, shaking his head and he swept a hand through his hair, like when he does when he is nervous.

When Meredith landed in Boston She looked at her watch, the three hours difference were already affecting her since in Seattle she was supposed to have dinner and there it was past six pm. But she was already there, she couldn't change it. She sighed, looking at his phone just to see all the missed calls from Derek. She felt bad, so selfish. She felt her eyes tear up. But she couldn't go back now. She needed the time. And it was gold. But she also knew that it was not fair for him not to know anything so she typed quickly a message saying : ' _I need time_ _, I can't got here_ _. I jus can't_ _. '_


	3. Chapter 3

Hey guys... So i had some family issues. My father died and well, lots of things happened. Would you still be interested if I continued this story?

The last year was so difficult for me you know? Lots of changes in my life and got caught up. With derek dying and now meredith and riggs... Ugh it made it worse. So after recovering from a very hard depression i discovered fanfiction again and i don't know how but ended up writting this story again. I know it's been a long time but... What do you guys think?


	4. Chapter 4

**Guys, thank you so much for the replies. It was a very hard time for me, but honestly, creating a world of my own when writing fanfiction really helped to make it through. You are right, writing these characters just makes me smile, so I just wanted to share this with you.**

 **I hope you like what I am gonna be sharing with you. My writing style has changed a little and hope my english is better!**

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 **Chapter 3.**

Derek blinked a few times after the message popped up on his screen. _« I need time. I can't go there. I just can't»_

What the hell did that mean?

Meredith wasn't picking up his calls and he was beginning to feel even more anxious. Derek knew he couldn't drop everything and jump on a plane to Seattle, that was why they had agreed that she was the one coming to visit. But now, if he heard his answering machine or the voicemail one more time he was going to the airport.

He sighed and left his phone on the crystal table, but his blue eyes kept staring at it. He knew she wasn't going to pick up. Something told him his wife was not very happy with him right now.

Should he give her some time to figure things out?

After a few seconds in silence but with a lot of thoughts running through his mind he got up.

"Screw it." He groaned, grabbing his jacket and leaving his office.

He was not going to lose his wife just because the president had some stupid rules. It was not like the lab was a prison.

And he had this feeling that told him this was not alright. Meredith had said she couldn't do it. What? Go visit him or be married to him?

He was feeling sick. This was a mess. Derek was not the best husband in the world, and he knew that, but he also knew that the way they had been treating each other was not how their marriage was going to work out. He enjoyed working in DC, but the prize of not seeing his family everyday was too high to pay. He also knew that she was being the one dealing with everything. And Meredith… She didn't want this life. He made her want it and told her he would always be there. He knew it was not entirely his fault. But right now he was realising that he had made a lot of mistakes.

" Dr Shepherd?" A voice asked behind him.

" Dr Collier." He replied in a hurry.

"Where are you going? We are in the middle of the day I need your help with the-

Before she could finish the sentence he walked out the building. She was still following him when he felt the fresh air on his face.

" Dr Collier, I really need to go." He groaned.

"Go? You can't do that, Derek." She frowned.

Derek? Since when was she calling him Derek.

"Did you just call me Derek?" He asked, confused and mad because she keeping him from going to the airport.

"You said I could do it outside the lab." She frowned again.

Then it hit him. They had lunch together. He had been spending time with that woman instead of being with his wife and kids. This was just not right. She was a good doctor, interesting and funny but…

"You are not Meredith." He whispered.

"What? Who?" She asked confused.

"Look." He shook his head quickly. "I really need to go." He sighed." Leave the... Thing on my desk. I'll check it tomorrow. Tell I am sick. He is in charge today." The words rushed out of his lips while he ran to his car, not giving time to the woman to reply.

Meredith pulled her car on the driveway and stared at the big house in front of her. Ellis Grey had money. And this had been a good way of showing it. She didn't remember her old house this big.

It was funny, because when her mom left Boston she had alzheimer's and hadn't sold the house. And She had been so caught up on her own life she had forgotten about it.

A soft smile crossed her lips.

She grabbed her phone, she wanted to take a picture for Zola and Bailey, but as soon as she saw her lock screen all the missed calls and texts popped up. She knew she wasn't being fair to him. But she needed this. She needed to figure some things out and talking to him was not going to help.

She decided to forget about the photo thing and get out of the car. She had missed Boston.

She walked into the house a few seconds later. It was old and dusty. It was quiet. No one had been there in a long time. Still, everything was on the same place. It had always been a big house, but still, during her childhood and teenage years she had felt so lonely.

She rushed upstairs, there were boxes everywhere. She remembers packing some things. She forgot about them there.

Still she hadn't missed them though.

Her room almost took her breath away. It had always been her place. The only room where she could be just Meredith. Where she felt at home. And even in that empty and lonely house she still felt warm.

Maybe that was why she was there.

All she needed was some tequila.

She giggled. She remembered drinking there for the first time. Or smoking with Saddie. It had been a miserable period of her life. But now, looking back, she was glad that all the decisions she made lead her to be where she was right now.

Meredith sighed when she realised she missed Derek. She wanted to tell him about all this. She wanted to share this with someone and he was not there to listen. That was one of the main problems in their relationship, with him and the DC thing. Because every time she had needed him, he hadn't been there.

Meredith looked at her cell phone for a few seconds; but instead of calling him she just picked her old Duran Duran CD and put it on the player.

She laid down on the bed. She couldn't believe she still fit on it.

She closed her eyes and listened to the music.

She just wanted to find Meredith Grey again.

When the plane landed in Seattle Derek drove to his house in a rush. He was sure he had been above the speed limit, but right now he didn't care at all. He left his car at the hospital, thanking god or whoever was upstairs for not bumping into anyone and jumped on the first ferryboat to his land.i

He missed the ferryboats. He didn't even know if Washington had ferryboats and that was just wrong. Derek Shepherd liked hiking. And fishing. And Washington Derek couldn't do any of that because he basically lived at the lab.

He didn't even remember the last time he had sex with his wife. It was not like he was a selfish ass but he was hoping for it to be over this weekend. But still, there he was.

He really needed an explanation.

She said she couldn't do it. But even when he picked her and the kids she was all the time pushing him away. Maybe he should have pushed harder to stay. But he wanted the job. He thought… DC had been everything for him. It was all he wanted since he decided to start med school.

And maybe he had been wrong. They just needed to talk about this.

After all, they couldn't give up now.

 **So Derek is in Seattle and Meredith in Boston? Quite a mess I made, uh? Please tell me what you think leaving a review!**

 **And again, thank you guys for your support. It made me feel very well. :)**


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